Sunday, April 23, 2006

The iPod Perspectives: call me anti-social

I love my alone time. It makes me strut like the hot girls you might see in commercials who know you want them and damned if they care what you think.

The moment I leave the cafe at work my earphones slip into my ears, each step a little quicker, a little sassier in time with the music. As I throw myself through the revolving doors and knock the sunglasses down onto my face, I rip the band out of my hair, shaking loose my ponytail in the sun. When I reach my car I drive all the way to the back row of the parking lot and park facing the building, the sun streaming in through my windshield and open sunroof warming my face and shoulders.

From here I can remove myself from the burdens of my life and just bask in the sun & the music, for 50 minutes I am calm, I am more myself than ever.

For 50 minutes no one can hurt or judge me.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Irrational Insensitivity to the Max

How do you forgive someone for deserting you?

You're supposed to hate your mother-in-law, isn't that what it says in the handbook? Well so far I haven't , but it seems I am about to. My MIL is not a native American, she moved here at age 10 and now that she's lived here for over 40 years, built a life here complete with two sons, a daughter-in-law, multiple siblings and a friendly ex-husband and now she wants to move home. No, not just wants to - she IS moving home, and she's got my brother-in-law, the only brother I've ever had in tow.


Just like that two of my biggest confidants will be gone to another timezone, another continent. I shouldn't feel like they are deserting me and I shouldn't be mad, but I am! I'm fucking pissed as hell. and also very, very hurt. This leaves me feeling raw and unprotected. alone. They're leaving me forever, going somewhere where it takes more than 20 hours a on a plane to get there from here.

If that's not desertion I don't know what is.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Guilt Laden Doodies.

I'm Catholic. I say this because I must also be a glutton for punishment since, (I realize the dork quotient this will place on my head) I'm. in. the. choir. Now, from week to week this is punishment enough - obviously I must be trying to atone for something by giving up my sparse free time so I can go sing with a bunch of people who are older than my parents and lost their ability to find a pitch years ago - but this week is special, it's the Ctholic version of what thespians refer to as hell week.

In theatre hell week is a fond term of endearment, loving-hate if you will which is used to describe the week before a show opens. Everyone involved spends at the least 28 hours at the theatre that week, and that 28 hours assumes you're not in professional theatre where you don't have an additional job or schoolwork to complete in addition to that time. It's exhausting, so much so that you end up completely burned and slap happy, but at the same time its thrillingly fun.

Today is Holy Thursday. What this means is that I will be spending at least an hour and a half at church tonight & tomorrow, Saturday I will be there from 7pm-1am and I will most likely be guilted into singing on Sunday morning for an hour as well. Could I simply not go? absolutely. but I'd never forgive myself.

....kinda reminds me of the episode of Family Guy where Peter was looking for a book to explaing potty training to Stewie "Oh you're Catholic? Then you want God hates you and that's pure evil coming out of you!"

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Strange Doings Going On....

Noticed anything weird going on lately? People acting less than normal? I sure have, and there's a reason for it. It's a full moon. You laugh, surely this can't be true. Oh it is. Ask anyone in a service position. We mark our calendars waiting in fearful anticipation of that day of every month when everyone in the world seems to have forgotten to take their crazy pills and luck would have it - today is just that day.

So please, give me a laugh - share your stories of random insanity you've encountered over the past few days! If you want to hear mine....try me here.

Oooo a spanking a spanking!

I need a spanking.

I'm a bad, baaaaaad blogger! In my defense I've been busy.

....okay, its halfway true. I've been very very busy about half the time. The other half I've been glued to my computer due to a serious new addiction to Paltalk. If you don't know what Paltalk is, I suggest not finding out. It's awful, its horrendous. It's wonderful.

Paltalk is a chat program much like AIM, Gaim, msn, yahoo, etc except it allows you to chat with video & sound.

Here's the link:

Now see if YOU can resist it!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

a strange sort of update.

For anyone who may read Pelican Barbecue & Buckeye Beer I feel the need to pass along the info that my dear friend Mr. PB, has not in fact ceased to exist. In updating his blog he encoutered a technical error which essentially deleted everything. So folks, hang on tight - he'll be back (with style!) it just might take his lazy ass some time :)

The NBC Paranoia, ruining tv everywhere...

Well folks, NBC has done it again! According to Seth Green the program Four Kings was cancelled on 3/21/06. It seems NBC can't adjust to being last in line and is too afraid to give a decent show a chance. I'm starting to feel like a television commitment-phobe, why bother getting attached when it won't be around in 3 months anyway!?

Monday, March 13, 2006

Bah. see what good moods do for ya?!

I started off today in yet another blasphemously fantastic day. I was so happy I was jittery as though I'd drank the weight of North America in coffee.

Then lunch came. *sigh*

I thought I'd have some private time and take a lil drive in my car. Obviously I was not meant to have such outrageous ideas. Let me say that I own not one, but in fact four umbrellas. None of them currently reside in my car. That would have been sensible. Also it might have protected me from the tsunami I just had to run through. My jeans are actually plastered to my legs.

Also, while in my car I discovered my phone service has been turned off when I attempted to call the Mr.

I just want to know what I did wrong!!!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Brightest Gloomy Day of My Life

Anyone who is a fan of my melancholy may as well stop reading now, you won't find that here. The events of the past few weeks have banished that from my temperment. Today the sky is gray, its raining, I woke up late after getting only a few hours sleep, I'm so tired my eyes are dry and I have a horrendously ugly & painful bruise on my left knee...but in spite of it all I am breathlessly happy.

I think this is a perfect example of how you choose what happens to you and that perspective is everything.

As I write this I am sitting my car, my beloved Mazda5 which though used is still my first new car, and although the circumstances which forced me to buy it were less than ideal I love the car so much and I no longer have to worry about how and when and where my old hand me down would finally pass away. I'm staring at the gloomiest gary sky and yet all I hear is the birds chirping and the blast of Gavin DeGraw from my stereo. I'm on my lunch from a job which I was laid off from, came back to a role lower, but was recently promoted to the old role and just today received an award with my team. In short, on only a few hours sleep, I'm too deliriously happy to be tired. And to prove my point, when I began thinking about this there happened to be a sheaf of paper in my normally extremely clean car.

Maybe its the music, maybe the attitude or the approaching spring, but I think this is the start of something good...