Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I'm sick of the positive front

Although I am not still unemployed, I am underemployed. In many ways this is worse. I am working for a company I respect (all the companies in this post shall remain nameless, but I will say this is a major fast-food company), but I am working in a position I detest. I am not overly fond of my co-workers and the pay is actually the same for 30 hours as I was getting on unemployment - about half what I need to support my law student husband and myself. great. This is humiliating and frustrating and the worst part is that when people in my life hear I have a job they expect me to be thrilled. I'll be thrilled when I can make it through a day without wanting to break down and cry because I can't buy gas. or milk. I'll be thrilled when I have a job that allows provide, especially if that job is a job (god forbid!) that I like.

I had an interview for such a job recently, the company is a large retail company (yes you've heard of them) and the position is...exciting. I enjoy thinking about it, the possibility of such a job belonging to me is freeing. I find myself thinking of my name with the title following it, voicing quiet little prayers in my to god and the hiring manager of said company. My interview went extremely well, all the signs are very positive and I was told they would reach a decision by late last week or early this week.

Today on my way home in the gray soggy afternoon, again and again I voiced my little prayer, "please let them hire me, please let them offer me the job!" But alas, I arrived home to a once more empty answering machine.


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