Thursday, October 20, 2005

An Open Letter to Stephen Lynch

Dear Stephen,

You write in your FAQ page that you are single because although you have been playing guitar for at least six years you still suck. I am sorry you feel this way and I am here to help boost your self-confidence by offering myself to you. See, I believe you to be highly attractive, creative and talented. I also feel that anyone as warped as you obviously are, has got to be stellar in the bedroom!

You're probably thinking, now Dunyasha, aren't you married? Well yes I am, but I can assure you that would not be a problem. My husband wouldn't mind, as long as you sang Voices in my Head for him at least 37 times every day. No really. Plus, you're on my list and he already agreed to that.

You also may wonder if I would be able to cope with your schedule. If you've been reading my page (which let's face it you haven't) you'd know that I have been acting since the tender age of 13. I understand that you would be touring and that you are slated to be appearing in the broadway version of The Wedding Singer, and I would never dream of using your friends as contacts so I could get some good auditions (unless of course you wanted to help me out, which as my second husband you really should want to!) It would also be really great if I could come with you next time you're on O&A, since I'd love to meet them!

If this interests you at all, I will hopefully be at your show on 10/28 so you can see if I'm woman enough for ya.



Anonymous HUSBAND said...

PS - If you happen know Nikki Cox and could bring her over I'd really appreciate it.

9:33 AM  

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